I keep hearing more and more stories of frustration when it comes to caring for aging parents, and it breaks my heart! Nobody likes to think about their parents getting to the point of not being able to care for themselves. Or even worse, when an event such as a fall, broken bone, or illness causes them to suddenly not be able to care for themselves.
Interestingly enough, I came across an article as I was doing some research on this topic that completely piqued my interest. After reading this article, I actually paused and had to rethink, therefore even erase parts of this post! It made me think about the other side to the coin. How are our “aging parents” actually feeling about this stage in their lives? Is loss of independence a big issue?
Although my original intention for this post was going to be resources and tips, I’ve actually been consumed with looking at this from a different angle. I could get lost in the psychology of aging, but I’ll spare you the details! The bottom line for me is that studies have shown that some older adults fear losing their independence more than death. Knowing this means learning that patience and planning are the keywords.
Planning and Patience
Coping with the loss of independence can take time. There may be loss of mobility, social isolation, memory impairment, hearing and vision loss, not to mention the death of loved ones and friends. Helping older adults come to terms with these changes is key.
That being said, patience is not always easy and that’s where planning comes in. I’ve found multiple articles, blogs, and websites that talk about how important planning for the future is. And that doesn’t just mean planning for the usual life events. That means coming up with a plan for caring for the older loved ones in your family, too.
Planning and patience are no small feat when it comes to this topic. I found this article and thought it very useful. Their five steps to creating a caregiving plan for your family are so important:
- Prepare to talk
- Form a team
- Assess needs
- Make a plan
- Take action
Unfortunately, I’ve seen my fair share of situations that have left families in despair when they’ve been unprepared for the inevitable. This includes having that difficult discussion about end of life care and choices (more on that later!).
Resources
Of course every family, individual, and situation is different. Even the best laid plans don’t always pan out. That’s why I think it’s so important to have lots of resources at your disposal, along with a lot of support. Here’s some of the articles and websites I found helpful:
- National Council on Family Relations: ncfr.org
I hope this blog post has been helpful to even one person, or maybe shared with someone who will find it useful. Do you have any tidbits to add to my thoughts? Let me know!
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Thanks
Can you discuss mandated nurse/pt ratios.?
Yes! Such a great topic, and impactful for everyone! Stay tuned….. 😊
Another resource can be the local Ombudsmen program through the Dept of Elder care. If anyone is placed in and ALF, AFC or Nursing home they maintain many rights.
Thank you Marla, such a great resource! I honestly didn’t know that much about ombudsmen for elder care. 😊
I am one of the aging parents and I I agree with Staci. I am very concerned with lost of independence. Since I am closing on on 70, my knees hurt and my back is not so very good. Getting old is not for the young. Thank you Staci for the resources.